As a leader, it is easy to fall into the trap of the “Microphone.” We believe that if we just give the right speeches, set the right KPIs, and preach the right values, the culture will follow. We assume that leadership is an external broadcast—a series of commands sent out to a waiting audience.
But the reality is much quieter and far more confronting. Leadership is not a microphone; it is a mirror.
The behaviors you see in your team—the good, the bad, and the frustrating—are rarely random. More often than not, they are a direct reflection of your own actions, reactions, and the things you choose to tolerate. If you want to change the output of your team, you must first be willing to look at the source in the glass.
1. If Your Team Lacks Ownership, Check Your Control
One of the most common complaints from founders and executives is: “My team doesn’t take initiative. I have to make every decision.”
When we look in the mirror, the reflection often reveals a “Control Trap.” If you find yourself micromanaging every detail or requiring a final sign-off on even the smallest tasks, you are effectively training your team to be passive.
Ownership cannot exist in an environment of total control. When you hold the reins too tight, you signal to your team that their judgment isn’t trusted. Over time, high-performers will leave, and those who stay will simply wait for your instructions. They don’t lack ownership because they are lazy; they lack it because you haven’t left any room for them to own.
The Reflection Question: Am I delegating authority, or am I just delegating tasks while keeping the authority for myself?
2. If Your Team Avoids Risk, Check Your Reactions
Innovation requires risk, and risk inevitably leads to occasional failure. If your team is “playing it safe”—sticking only to proven paths and avoiding any bold moves—it is likely a defense mechanism.
Check your reactions to the last mistake made in your department. Was it met with curiosity and a “lessons learned” debrief, or was it met with frustration and blame?
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), we understand that the brain is wired to avoid pain. If your “Mirror” reflects a leader who reacts explosively or punitively to errors, your team’s biology will force them into a state of risk-aversion. They aren’t being “unimaginative”; they are being safe. To get more risk-taking, you must create a culture where the “reaction” to failure is a pivot, not a punishment.
3. If Your Team Stays Silent, Check Your Listening
There is a dangerous silence that happens in many boardrooms—the silence of people who have learned that their voice doesn’t matter. If your meetings feel like a monologue where you talk and they nod, you aren’t leading a team; you are managing an echo chamber.
If the team is silent, check your listening. Do you interrupt? Do you dismiss ideas that don’t align with your initial vision? Do you reward the “Yes-Men” and ignore the challengers?
True leadership involves creating a “Circle of Excellence” where the best idea wins, regardless of whose mouth it comes from. If the mirror shows a leader who is always the smartest person in the room, it’s no wonder the room has stopped speaking.
4. Culture Isn’t What You Preach – It’s What You Tolerate
You can put “Integrity” and “Excellence” on your office walls in gold lettering, but those words are meaningless if you tolerate a high-performing toxic employee or a “low-bar” standard of work.
Your culture is defined by the lowest level of behavior you are willing to accept. If you tolerate late arrivals, missed deadlines, or office politics, that is your culture. The mirror doesn’t lie: if the environment feels messy or undisciplined, look at where you have stopped holding the line.
Leadership requires the courage to address the “small” things before they become the “only” things.
5. Adjusting the Mirror: The Shift to Self-Leadership
The beauty of the “Mirror” philosophy is that it puts the power back in your hands. You cannot force a team to be brave, but you can change your reactions. You cannot force them to be vocal, but you can change your listening.
How to start reflecting a better culture:
- Audit Your Reactions: For the next week, notice your first response when someone brings you bad news. Is it a “microphone” response (loud/judging) or a “mirror” response (reflective/curious)?
- Relinquish Small Decisions: Give your team the “Power of 80%.” If they can do it 80% as well as you, let them own it entirely.
- Reward the Process, Not Just the Result: Celebrate the person who took a calculated risk that failed, just as much as the one who played it safe and won.
The Wait is Over
Your team is giving you a real-time report card on your leadership every single day. If you don’t like what you see, don’t try to “fix” them. Start by adjusting the person in the glass.